If I want to describe myself before I started my meditation journey I would say… the things weren’t bad, I was in business with my partner, we were extremely busy, after work I was spending the time with my son, I was trying to keep us all healthy, cooking the right food, I was jogging a few times a week. It seemed that the days went too fast, but I managed to keep up… or maybe I just thought I did.
The truth was that I was tired, I was pushing myself to get through the day. Living with a promise that I will get rest – someday, next week, when we go on holidays. I was busy all day, starting the things and not getting finished, catching up on what I left the day before, and in many days, I was getting no result. When the pressure was building up, I was spending hours solving issues and still the next day I was facing the same reality.
Everything I was doing was like keeping my head up above the water, one more breath… Again, I promised myself that tomorrow it will be a different day, but it was not. On top of it I was getting more and more tired, I could not sleep at night, I used to fall asleep just a short time before I had to get up, but still I was getting on with it. I pushed myself; I pushed all my energy to get through it, I did not realize that it all comes with consequences. I was often sick, catching one infection after the other, taking painkillers, antibiotics and still I thought that I was doing everything to keep myself and my family healthy.
But perhaps even back then I felt that there is something missing, that everything I was after was so physical, that there was no space for anything that is beyond it. I knew there is more in the life but still I could not connect with it, there was a part of myself that I was not connecting with... The thing that I did not realize was that this missing part was IT, that it was more important than anything I was doing to stay above the water. What I needed it was to get out of the water, sit still at the Bay, take a deep breath, and take the ownership of my space.
I do it now, I practice meditation, my journey goes on, I am learning every day, but the change in my life, in my approach to life since I started few years ago is substantial. I wish that by sharing my journey, You will too find the peace and the happiness in a little things right now.
